Tears constantly run my cheek.
The pain unbearable.
Thoughts lost to the repetitions of deeply collecting masses.
Darker and darker, less and less of myself remains.
Only a dark pool of nothingness out of control.

Indiscernible from the background, I go missing.
Unnoticed, and only by chance a beautiful passing fuel gets consumed in a blink.
In that brief moment, I feel the light and bask in all the memories and feelings each particle brings.
Lost from myself, drowned in emotion, then worse....it is gone.

Grief is what I'm left with as I try to recall what any of it ever felt like.
Panicked, I look left and right, up and down.
Surrounded by infinite solutions too far for any true rescue.

Frustrated and desperate.
Breath.  Tear. Collapse.

My only recourse is to wait again for some random fuel to add to this collecting mass of untouchable thoughts,
way too pressed to parse.

Starved, and nothing will ever be enough.

Alone, dark, alone, and in the dark.
Never understood and left with a craving for a stimulus I know I will never be able to hold.

Tears constantly run my cheek as I exist, pretending to shine brightly instead of the black hole I know I am.